票帝按:过去的周末可谓各种bug云集,周六马尔代夫瑞吉酒店大别墅3万分兑换;周日加航全系统的错价机票,200美元中美往返满天飞。以下是美国飞友论坛Flyertalk在2005年Travelocity 51刀洛杉矶LAX-斐济NAN 错价票事件中某网友的神回复,票帝用通俗的语言给大家翻译如下(有适当修改):

The emotional phases of a mistake fare.


1. Discovery – Mistake fare is posted on FT. Novices frantically checks how much vacation time they have and if the dates of availability mesh with their schedules. Experienced FTers just book it and worry about contacting spouses or their boss later. Word spreads like wildfire. Bloggers blog.

1. 发现——错价票的信息被人发布于Flyertalk论坛,菜鸟们紧张的梳理自己还有多少假期,如何将错价票的可用日期杂糅进自己的日程。老司机们默默的把票先出了再说,接下来再操心和老婆和老板报告。错价票就像野火一样迅速的在微信群、朋友圈、微博、博客传播开来。

2. Excitement – Tickets purchased, confirmation emails received and dates of travel shared with other FTers. Discussions of what to see and do and where to stay crop up in other threads. Novices call the airline to change seats or inquire about upgrades, ask for exit row seats as a one-time exception because they’re almost silver. Seasoned FTers angrily berate them for having called or being such tightwads.

2. 兴奋——购买键点下去,信用卡扣钱了,自动回复的确认邮件随之而来,“我们正在处理您的预定,请稍后,如果24小时内仍然没有收到开票邮件,请联系我们”,网友们开始共享出行日期、花式作死的线路。关于目的地可以看什么、可以住什么的讨论帖也冒了出来。菜鸟们傻X兮兮的联系航司选位子、询问升舱事宜,或者舔着脸问“能不能施舍我一个安全出口座位,因为我马上就达到你们航空公司的银卡了”。当类似的经历被发到网上,免不了遭遇新老司机的一阵炮轰。

3. Stress Stage 1 – Concern over paper ticket delivery – Novices Frantically check otheFedEx website every few hours, constant monitoring of driveway for FedEx truck. Seasoned FT veterans sit back and relax.

3. 紧张阶段1——开始操心纸质机票的投递,菜鸟们每隔几个小时就查看Fedex追踪信息,当显示Out for delivery之后则更加的频繁。老司机们则默默地干着别的事情。(票帝注:在广泛使用电子机票的今天,等待出票邮件的过程虽然比投递纸票耗时大大缩短,但情绪的变化过程则与这个极其相同,在购买到出票的20分钟内,菜鸟们不停的刷新预定页面或是Gmail邮箱,老司机们仍然端坐钓鱼台)

4. Glee and happiness – Paper tickets in hand, vacation request submitted, spouses finally informed, hotel reservations made and bragging to friends and co-workers begins. Both novices and experts get very excited.

4. 欢呼雀跃——出票啦!!假期申请了,老婆也报告了,全程的酒店都安排妥当。感觉买了这个票可以吹上一年了,朋友和同事逢人便吹一下,从这一点上来说,菜鸟和老司机都很兴奋。

5. Stress Stage 2 – Rumors of fare not being honored, discussion threads about the airline and ticketing agency ensue. Rumors crop up like crabgrass at this stage. Many FTers begin to worry excessively about whether or not the trip will happen. Novices make non-refundable and financial committments to their trip. Seasoned FTers make mixed drinks (and maybe a sandwich) and is patient.

5. 紧张阶段2——传闻说航空公司可能不认账,讨论帖又重新火起来,小道消息满天飞,不少人重新开始瞎操心。菜鸟们订的目的地安排都是不可取消不可退款的,此时无比焦躁。老司机则留了一手,大不了就是全取消,也损失不了什么嘛,耐心的等候啦。

6a. Mass Cancellations – Novices quiver in fear. Veterans file DOT complaints. Some reservations are unaffected and speculation ensues that the lucky few must have booked using a Diners Club card while in Incognito Mode after having clicked through from Kayak and used a United codeshare of an Edelweiss Air flight.

6a. 大规模取消——菜鸟们惶惶不可终日,老司机们向DOT写信投诉。有一小部分预定没有受到波及,流言说他们这批预定没受到影响一定是因为他们使用隐身模式,从Kayak点过去,使用Diners Club信用卡付的款,而且预定里含有了一段UA代码共享的雪绒花航班。(票帝注:虽说不同航空公司对待错价票的态度不尽相同,例如经典的RGN错价事件中,瑞航较为强硬,Delta则比较宽容。因此买了谁家,从哪里出票确实效果略有不同,这里则是戏谑的说法,把所有旁门左道都沾上了)

6b. Confirmation – The airline announces they’ll honor the fare while vigorously patting themselves on the back for being so nice.

6b. 确认——大道消息终于抵达,航空公司大度的宣布将会承认这批错假票,同时捶胸顿足感叹自己为什么要这么nice。

7a Hostile Feelings  – Many angry and disappointed FTers. Refunds are issued. Novices have multiple discussion threads of lawsuits and hostile correspondence, FT pros mutter “c’est la vie” and look for the next fare mistake.


7a. 哀怨——愤怒和失望的气氛在蔓延,退款也终于回到了信用卡菜鸟们仍旧在喋喋不休的讨论上法庭和充满怨气的给航空公司的CEO写信。老司机们默默唱着梁静茹的歌,再次的出发。

7b. Pure Joy – Lots of happy people, FT threads on shared information regarding hotels, restaurants, tours, etc. Jealousy from others sets in.

7b. 欢愉——票认了!大家都很开心,论坛上共享目的地酒店、餐馆、游玩的帖子开始繁荣起来。

8.  First Success-First “FT guinea pigs” embark, post confirmation threads that all is ok. Diagrams of the ticket counters and bathrooms of origin airport, details which agents were friendly and which cussed him out, gives the GDS commands the agent needs to type to re-instate the ticket, explains how to get the chauffeur even if they don’t want to give it (“Swagger up to chauffeur counter wearing tux while holding poodle on leash…”), and how to pre-order lobster thermidor. Still-nervous novices post, asking questions the first flier just answered. Most people thank the first flier heartily.

8. 一血——第一批小白鼠们出发了,在论坛上确认一切安好。细节可能包括出发机场柜台的示意图、厕所的地点、哪里可以洗澡,以及哪个航司大妈好,哪个大妈Mean,以及恢复被取消预定可能会用的上的GDS命令行,甚至还包括如何在航空公司极不情愿的情况下仍然拿到豪车接送服务(穿着考究、自信的走上服务台,记得牵个卷毛),如何提前预定飞机上的赛美多龙虾,如何在咸的受不了的情况下仍然可以吃下好几盒鱼子酱 等等等等。除了仍然紧张的菜鸟可能还会问一下早已被回答过的问题,大部分的人的回复均是:lz好人一生平安。

9. Complete Success – Trip Report forum becomes very active.

9. 后记——游记版块从此丰腴起来,但是不管怎样,下一次的轮回随时都有可能再次开始。